IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT MARRIAGE SINGLES SHOULD KNOW

1) Everyone marries for one or more reasons. The reasons may be right or wrong, good or bad, but everyone marries to have need(s) met.
2) Competent men and competent women may marry for different reasons, or take different paths to meet the same need, such as acceptance.
3) Each spouse expects their needs to be met. Some newlyweds understand that marriage is a two-way street. Others marry only to have their own needs met. Most people marry to have a spouse. Fewer people marry to be a spouse.
4) Each spouse absorbs gender perspectives while growing up that they carry into marriage.
5) Each spouse carries expectations to have fulfilled, as demanded by their gender-group.
6) Men and women often think that the others’ reasons for marriage are selfish. This creates anger that can harm a marriage.
7) Every spouse is acquired either as a trophy, as a consolation prize, as a workhorse, as a punishment, or some combination thereof. The spouse that began as a trophy can become a mere consolation prize, slightly better than being alone. That’s when the marriage is most vulnerable. Less often, the consolation prize becomes a marvelous trophy.
8) Like it or not, every successful organization has a chain of command. A stable family is an organization. Every lasting marriage has a chain of command, no matter how gentle.
9) Having said that, marriage is not meant to be a master/slave relationship. It is meant to be a servant/servant relationship. As we said before, we marry to have needs met. We serve each other as we meet legitimate needs, and we serve each other by challenging unrealistic needs. Unrealistic needs means unhappiness for everyone.
10) Love is not the only glue in a marriage. Some people stay married because of religious beliefs, social or family pressures, the needs of the children, or because of money. A marriage is in a dangerous place when love isn’t the first reason to stay married.

Finger Painting Girls!

They are everywhere!

All they know how to do is look good. They can’t cook, are not domesticated, and want to rule a man in the household.

Everything about them is artificial. Their breast is artificial. Their nails are artificial. Their eye lashes are artificial. Even their attitude is artificial.

They claim to be career women…when actually they use career to hide their non feminine, non ‘wify’ tendencies.

If they get married…they rule the home.

Smart guys spot them quickly and avoid them.

Is finger painting bad? Well, no if it is done moderately. Beyond the finger painting and good looks, a wife should be able to juggle well between her career and her home

3AMAZING LADIES WHO RUN THEIR NGOS AND TOUCH LIVES

I first met Uduakabasi Okon in 2007 at a Mr. Biggs restaurant, Ikot Ekpene Road. Sincerely, at that period she was going through some relationship issues. But one thing that I remember about those eyes of hers was that they were determined eyes

Yes, she was a single mother. She had returned back from Lagos to Uyo , but she was determined to make something out of her life.After we talked, I told her to come to my office and I put her through some personal development training. She went through a program we call PROGRAM 7: THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT SKILLS IN LIFE. Uduakabasi Okon didn’t only go through this program she grew so fast and became a teacher of that program in PowerMinds Community.

Today, she runs a school called Elsha Vocational School, which has trained scores of people and runs a radio program in Uyo. People now call her mentor! It is amazing how a person whose life didn’t seem to have a direction suddenly had one.

Nikky-baby Israel Eshiet came for my special FACEBOOK LUNCH TIME OUT in February 11, 2012. After that, she stuck.She also was a single mother…but after an encounter with our program PROGRAM 7, she turned her mess into a message. Today, she runs an NGO called NIKKY & KIDS and is doing very well at it. Last year at the Women in Business Conference, she testified about how her life had truly made progress.

Eno-obong George always wanted to publish her book. She was directed to me.And we made it come true! But she didn’t stop there…she attended our program for Public Speakers and became certified as a speaker by PowerMinds.
Today, she runs her NGO in Oron, Akwa Ibom State and also runs a blog!

If they can , you too can!

Choose to be relevant.

Encounter….CHANGE through our programs

One way is to be part of the WOMEN IN BUSINESS CONFERENCE (II)

THEME: YOUR COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE: STARTING, SUSTAINING & GROWING YOUR BUSINESS IN A SEEMING MEN’S WORLD

TO REGISTER: sms BUSINESS WOMAN to 07010656135
DATE: 23rd June, 2013.
TIME: 10AM- 4PM
REG: FREE

VENUE: BURMS CONSULTING HALL(UP STAIRS). 103 IKOT EKPENE ROAD, UYO, AKWA IBOM STATE.

AVAILABLE SEATS: 50

LESSONS TO LEARN:

(1) 5 Businesses you can start from Kitchen & Take the world.
(2) Home Business Ideas:Marketing Your Business to millions of people with just you laptop and modem as an office
(3) Strategic Fund Raising Strategies
(4) Writing a Powerful and Compelling Proposal
(5) Producing,Packaging & Promoting Body Cream
(6) Branding.
(7) CAC Registration and Business Legal documentations
(8) How to design a Commercial Blog in 20 minutes

SPEAKERS:

Consultants working with PowerMinds Community

To be part of it, sms BUSINESS WOMAN to 07010656135 now!

For enquiries call: 2347010656135

HOW TO ATTRACT A QUALITY WOMAN

Forget those traditional means of getting a flower or singing a song to woo a girl. The modern day woman looks for a complete package. Yes, that’s true! From good looks to great wealth, a woman wants it all. For attracting a woman, you need to be a man of her desires. The first important thing is to dress well. Making your presence felt among the crowd is a part of how to attract women. No matter what, a handsome man always makes her drool. Also smell fantastically. Do not overdo it. Smell just the right amount.

Look Good, Stand out Smart & Witty Too:

Well, do not think that only appearance is what attracts a woman. You must be equally wanting when you open your mouth. Women prefer smarter men to dumb. A bit of humor works the best! Moreover, you must be smart enough to put forward your opinions. Women like educated, bold and passionate men. Merely cribbing about what you have lost and living in the days gone by, shoos women away from your company. Moreover, who likes to unnecessary carry the burden of someone else’s emotions?

On the other hand, strong does not only refer to the mind, but you must be physically fit to turn her eyes on you. A healthy man speaks how well-to-do he is. To attract her you must carve out a striking personality. Instill a positive attitude in you and when you go and talk to her, ooze out your charm. Independent thinking and broad mindedness immensely attracts that quality woman to your side.

Every time you step out, make sure to groom yourself well. An unkempt man is a complete no-no to a woman. It is obvious to guess how she would feel to roam around with a mess beside her. Remain clean, flash you sparkling teeth and keep your hair well trimmed. Though the messy look is in, a messy man isn’t!

It is not impossible to gauge exactly how to attract women; instead you only need to be smarter for real! Do not understimate the woman. When you are talking to one, be what you are. Do not fake to be someone you are not. The moment she comes to know about your real self, you will end up losing her instantly. Yes, success and wealth matters to a woman but not dishonesty and fraud.

Carelessness is not liked by women. Here and there a cracking of jokes or fun activity once or twice is fine, but in general, you must have a sense of discipline in life. You must respect others around you and also be equally respected. A renowned man is loved by a quality woman .

Treat Her Like A Princess:

Most importantly, respect the woman in your life. Be a good listener when she has something to share with you. Give her your time and show how valuable she is. You are not required to get the moon or stars for her. Just make her realize what importance she has in your life. Certainly women love being pampered by their lovers. But that does not mean you become clingy or listen to everything she has to say. Sometimes you need to let your opinion surface. Women like men who are able to ascertain themselves and get their work done rather than giving up.

Thus it is not difficult either as to how to get a girl to like you. The funda lies with you and how original as yourself can you be. Make her realize that you have all the energy in you – to be rock solid. This definitely works with independent women.

Show her how daringly confident and romantic you are!

HOW TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSON

SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID 137:

How many couples are truly really happy in their marriages? If they want to be sincere with you, many of them are just tagging along. If they had a choice today would they still marry that man, that woman?

Consider the Saturday event that went literally viral on the internet, especially among bloggers. Solomon Akiyesi, popular Nollywood actor, tried to play a fast one on his wife. He left his pregnant wife in Portharcourt under the guise that he was going to shoot a movie in Lagos only for it to be discovered that he was going to wed his pregnant mistress somewhere at a church in Lagos. News had got to his wife who travelled all the way from portharcourt and stormed the church, disrupting the wedding.

When asked why he did what he did, Solomon Akiyesi simply said, “My marriage wasn’t just it” He had dated that lady for 7 years before marrying her for another 6 years. Making it a total of 13 years. Yet what did he say? “My marriage wasn’t just it”

How many couples are in such mess today? Plenty of them. They marry for stupid reasons and after struggling for many years…either scream their issues , walk away or do something as desperate as Solomon Akiyesi.

You don’t have to marry and be frustrated.You deserve to be happy. Let me share with you some ideas that would help you not marry the wrong person.I will show you this by reverse logic

How To Marry The Wrong Person

1. MARRY A PERSON BECAUSE AGE IS NOT ON YOUR SIDE: Research has it that people who marry early have a higher chance of breaking up or staying frustrated in marriage.The reason is because are usually too young to know what they really want. Mature people who marry in their late 20s and early 30s tend to know what they want, having experienced life, and can make informed choices that make and keep them happy for longer periods. Never hurry into marriage because you think you are old. Remember that your age gives you the advantage of experience. Take your time and make your decision.

2.MARRY A GOOD PERSON INSTEAD OF A GODLY PERSON: There is a difference.A good person goes to church, a godly person is church! A good person is nice and not a believer of Christ, a godly person is of the faith. Marry christian, someone who believes in Jesus.Never compromise that.

3. MARRY A PERSON WHO TAKES ACOHOLIC DRINKS: Yes, you heard me very right. A person who drinks is a potential cheater(Most people who drink cheat on their spouse). The person is a waster( Since drinking is addictive the person will waste money and resources). The person is a potential fighter.In the case of the man, chances are that he would beat his wife. For the woman, she will verbally abuse her husband and fight him.

4.MARRY A PERSON WHO IS NOT GOING YOUR WAY: Love doesn’t keep a marriage. Yes it can start the process of marriage….but it is similar values that keeps a marriage together.

5.MARRY A PERSON BECAUSE HE HAS POTENTIAL OR RESOURCES: Don’t get it twisted. The so called potential spoken of by that man who wants to marry you is still that…words. The most important thing is not that the man has potential but THE CONVICTION IN YOU THAT GIVES YOU PEACE TO MARRY HIM WITH OR WITHOUT ANYTHING. Also, the fact that the fellow is rich today is not proof that he would remain rich….It boils down to convictions.

6 MARRY A PERSON YOU HAVE HAD PREMARITAL SEX WITH: 90 percent of the weddings aren’t really holy matrimony as they put on their wedding cards. God in His wisdom says to leave the bed undefiled. You in your so called wisdom say , ‘how can marry someone i have not tested?’. Tomorrow you want God to be involved in your marriage. How can that be? Do it God’s way….and you are marrying right. Do it the other way…and no matter how anyone wants to garnish it…you are marrying wrong.

There are a lot more. But feed on these for now.

15 Wrong Reasons To Get Married

1. You must not get married because of lust.

2. Infatuation (Love at first sight- sudden love)

3. Just liking the idea of marriage. It’s just like joining the Army because you like the uniform. Nobody joins the army with a promise that he won’t go to war.

4. The fear of remaining unmarried(my friends are all married, my sisters are all
married e.t.c)

5. Pressure (parents, friends, etc)

6. Because you want to escape being jilted (if he is the right man/woman, he or she wont jilt you)

7. Getting married for money (money does not guarantee a successful marriage at all.

8. Using marriage as an escape route! [I am tired of mom and dad]

9. Having pity… (feeling sorry for the Man or the Woman.)

10. Foolish Expectation……[Marrying an unbeliever and expecting him/her to change in the course marriage! especially if they don’t change before you marry them]

11. Marrying for Beauty or Handsomeness…….[The best time to access a woman properly is absolutely when she wakes up in the morning!] Let him see you as you are Now!!!

12. Accidental PREGNANCY! [Just because you become pregnant along the line doesn’t mean you have to bury your destiny there.

13. Tribal Connection [I must marry someone from my town.,,etc…]

14. To satisfy your Parents.

15. Marrying to hurt your Parent

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BEFORE YOU SAY ‘I DO’

We all have nasty habits. Some have an odour, a belch , an attitude, a habit that may not be pleasant. What can you tolerate? How much can you tolerate? You should be able to stay with him/her in the toilet and not feel that that smell is offensive. You should be able to kiss him or her and not feel any repulsion(a physical activity like kissing before marry can lead to premarital sex; I use the last line only to buttress a point).

Young woman, you grew up in poverty, struggled to pay your fees, and got a job, now a scraggy looking, ‘my-future-is-bright’ fellow says he wants to marry you. If that is okay for you, go for it. If you see his potential and believe you can both make it together, no problem. But if it doesn’t feel right, if you think you should have a break, if you think that your prince in charming and shining armour should be rich, go for it girl. Especially if he is around the corner. You deserve the best. Go for what you want, what you deserve. Having said this ,remember that it is true that there is no guarantee that that young , poor man will become richer in the next 5 years. But there is also no guarantee that that old, rich man will remain rich in the next 5 years. Life is about twists and turns. Your choice should be based on personal conviction and tolerance. God tests every relationship at the point of its motive.

James Odili started relating with Julliet Bassey, and at some point decided that he could marry her. But he didn’t have money. While Julliet Bassey loved him, she kept seeing one banker who worked in a certain bank. Eventually, she broke his heart and married that banker. James Odili was devastated. He was devastated that his heart throb of so many years could do that to him. And he did go to beg her. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

A few months after she left, he got into Shell Training School and eventually got a job with them. Then Julliet’s banker husband lost her job and she was now the one devastated. By this time, James had gotten married to someone else. The other day James Odili himself told me that they met.He met Julliet after a few years.
“I wish I had married you”, she told him. “I thought I would be happy , but I am not. May be I married him for financial security reasons. But now that it is not there, I don’t know whether I love him or not.”
Shame. Remember: God tests every relationship at the point of its motive.

There will be many things you will have to tolerate. If you can’t tolerate, don’t commit martially. Why? You will be tested along those lines. Young man, here is some wisdom for you : Marry when you are still striving. ANY LADY who says yes to your proposal then and goes ahead to marry you, loves you. If you propose to ANY LADY when you have a Pajero jeep, live in a well furnished house, work in a N4OO,OOO a month salary outfit, SHE WILL SAY ‘YES’…and usually she isn’t the one. Be smart…it is difficult to see a virtuous woman when you are made

Can you tolerate his/her nasty, petty habits? Do you think you can suffer long with this person in sickness or in health?

There is this saying that marriage is for enjoyment, not endurance. I disagree. I think marriage is about both: enjoyment and endurance. Marriage is not a fairy tale story. It never ends with ‘and they lived happily after’. Life ends its story with ‘and they lived happily to the degree to which they made their marriage work’
Marriage is hard work. Are you ready?