IS IT POSSIBLE TO FIND A SPOUSE ONLINE?

GEORGE ESSIEN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION 147:

My name is Emem Dickson.I follow your post on Facebook and read your blog. Please I have this issue. I met Aniekan on Facebook. We chatted for almost a month before one day he proposed to marry me on a Facebook chat. While it is true that we had interacted long enough , I felt that the proper thing was for him to propose to me live, not on the internet.He said I should come to Lagos, that he would send me money. But having consulted with my mother, she said I should tell him to come over to Uyo not the other way round.

He came to Uyo and proposed again. He further took me to see his mother. Surprisingly, his mother admired me.A few weeks ago, he came and met my mother…and is preparing for an introduction with Dad. My dad is not in the know yet.

I have a few issues. One, you seem to kick against online dating or courting and I have great respect for your views. Second, everything is happening too fast. He has even suggested that I come to spend holiday in Lagos for a while so that we can know ourselves.He seems ok, nice and well mannered. Is it possible to find a spouse online? If this works out, that may be the case for me.Please advice me.

ANSWER:

I have a friend in America, actually she lives in South Carolina who doesn’t believe in online dating. She vehemently says that it is evil. She Said this the last time we spoke for over an hour. I laughed and still laugh every time I remember it.

Well, the our world is going online, and online marriages and Facebook marriages may be the order of the day. One in eight marriages in America in 2011 were through the social media.More people meet online these days than offline. Chances that your business associate, your friend or even helper may be met on the internet.Now, let me shock you. Some of my closest associates and friends I met through Facebook.Emmanuel Sam, Uduak Asuquo, Shenneld Johnson, Cletus Joseph who have become leaders in the NGO that I have been privileged to run were met through the social media.

Dennis Isong, who designed my site, became friends with me on Facebook. We have done 3 successful seminars together both in Uyo and Lagos. When I am at Lagos, he usually hosts me.And when he is in Uyo is same.Timothy Anietie too.He handles PowerMinds Community website was also met on Facebook.

So fruitful relationships can bud out of the social media. However, having said that, I must warn that when it comes to something as sensitive as marriage, you have to be very careful.Marriage is not a hundred meters dash, it is a marathon.Proper investigation and observation should be done before you commit your life to any person.

Don’t travel to Lagos to spend holiday.Sex with him will start you on a very faulty foundation. Still allow time to pass as you study each other. Patience forces deception to eventually reveal itself.Cheers.