SOUL TIES!

YOUNG LADY: Please what would you advice a girl to do wen she realizes her guy is cheating?

LIFE COACH:Walk away from it

YOUNG LADY: Just like that?And 2ndly how can one overcome worries and anxiety of that relationship?

LIFE COACH:Yes just like that. He is cheating on you because you have had sex with him. How many times have you had sex with him?

YOUNG LADY: I don’t keep counts

LIFE COACH: You have a soul tie with him.That is what is wrong right now

YOUNG LADY: How can Break the soul tie with him.He is so strong on me?

LIFE COACH: You will have to pray him out of you.Sincerely ask God to forgive you.Then fast in prayer, call his name several times, and say, i break any tie with you.Do it 3 days.After that burn anything he has given you.Delete his number.Unfriend him ON FACEBOOK.
Stay away for a while and in time you will be whole again

YOUNG LADY: Woah.

LIFE COACH:When last did you have sex?

YOUNG LADY: April

LIFE COACH:With who?

YOUNG LADY:Same guy

LIFE COACH:Do what I have told you.

YOUNG LADY: But can’t i pray wit him,maybe he needs 2 ask 4 forgiveness too

LIFE COACH:Nope dear.Leave him alone

YOUNG LADY:To be very sincere,cutting away completely from him might be a little bit difficult but i know with God all tings are possible

LIFE COACH:Remember do what i have told you ONLY when you are ready to break the tie.It is very powerful.

http://www.georgeessien.com

SHE SAYS I AM NO MORE GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER NOW…AFTER ALL MY TIME AND MONEY!

GEORGE ESSIEN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION 95:

I saw her in Nov 2004 in my 1st year @ the University.She agreed to marry me . But i thought she had to further her Education & probably work before we plan for marriage.
So with my little help financially and encouragement she continued her Education with me at the University.She was an orphan who stayed with uncaring uncles.I worked and schooled so i took care of her too.She was a year below me.We were both matured adults when we went to University.I was 25 and she was 23.

We went for service together and she started working last September.I am still looking for a job.

Anytime i talk of marriage now she would not talk to me for days until i try 2 establish contact.Sometimes i 4get about her & try someone else but frankly, any other lady i propose 2 refuses.What do i do?And I still love her.

ANSWER:

Bros, I don’t believe in long term relationships.I am a victim of that failure.Though i must admit i have seen some that worked out.But this is usually rare.Your relationship was way too long.If you see you wife, just go ahead and marry her.All those unnecessary investment is truly not necessary

And bros, no matter how long you know the lady you would not know her well…as it is evident in what has happened.Forget her…and move on with your life.She doesn’t love you…and seen some one else

http://www.singletalks.wordpress.com

VALENTINE LUNCH TIME OUT….ARE YOU PREPARING FOR IT?BARELY 2 MONTHS AWAY!

THEME: SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID!

We have gone through almost 92 SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID series on Face book with thousands of comments.The issues have been controversial and interesting.Now we want to use the Valentine mood to share a few more ideas along those lines.The relationship issues will be discussion style and interactive over a Valentine Lunch.

It is free for every one of my(George Essien) facebook friends and YOUR facebook friends too.It would be an opportunity to meet all those facebook and interact with them.

To be part of it sms SMART SINGLE to 08187133153 for seat reservations

Saturday, February 9, 2013
LA MEMS HOTEL. 40 Nkemba Street, Uyo, Akwa Ibom State.

SURVIVING A BREAK UP

Who says men don’t cry? I sat down on the corridor of my 3 bedroom flat sobbing uncontrollably like a baby.I had loved much, given much, worked it hard much. But it had still failed. This is the one I had called the most beautiful girl in the world. Now, she had to leave.She told me it was over.

Today, I have come to believe that what is not yours is not yours no matter how hard you try.

This break up tore into my soul.
Have you had that kind of experience before?

O I did everything to see that I could to mend that relationship. I knelt down to beg her. I called and called again and again. Told her that I would be whatever she wanted me to be….and all that.

Today, I look back at those days and laugh at how I so behaved. How could I throw away all of my pride? It never occurred to me that I could meet someone FAR BETTER who would accept me the way I was.Flaws and all.

Let me share with you how to survive a break up. You don’t have to be so broken as I was.There is a smarter way.I call it break-up survival strategies

(1)BOW OUT GRACEFULLY WITH YOUR SELF ESTEEM IN TACT. Try to leave the person thinking “He/she is really something” not “Whew! I am glad I am rid of that one”

(2)DO YOUR WEEPING PRIVATELY. Don’t be ashamed to feel sad. It is normal reaction during a time of hurt. Cry, if you have to. But do your crying privately. That is where I got it wrong. I thought shedding tears before her would make a difference. It only ended making me weak.I am sure in her mind she was like: Isn’t this suppose to be George Essien? Many ladies do that. They literally cry helplessly before that man when they should be crying privately before God.

(3)DON’T GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP QUICKLY: A mistake most make.It is important that you ask anyone you want to date when his or last relationship broke off.This is important so that you don’t get involved with someone who is still hurting .Give yourself at least 6 months to reflect and reviewing your past relationship before getting into another one.

(4)KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Get involved in group activities. For me, I plunged myself deeper into PowerMinds Community, a human development organization I had created many years ago. I even began encouraging other people who had similar issues and giving them hope.

You most likely will meet your new man in your place of work or assignment.

One last thing, this will be of tremendous help. Every one who suffers a heart break or tragedy goes through 4 stages. Knowing these three stages enables you go through it gracefully.Here are they.

(a)DENIAL: First the unwillingness to accept that the break up has happened.

(b)ANGER: Anger turned outward.Chances are that one tends to blame others and God for the break up.

(c)ANGER AND GUILT TURNED INWARDS: Blaming yourself for what happened.

(d)GENUINE GRIEF: Weeping and resolution phase. This is the last phase where we cry the ‘last cry’ and it is over.

Remember that your EX had no more fun breaking off with you than you had in receiving the news. Just because this person broke off with you doesn’t mean that no one in the world would want. Your best is yet to come.

EVERY SINGLE LADY’S DILEMMA

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via EVERY SINGLE LADY'S DILEMMA.

EVERY SINGLE LADY’S DILEMMA

Every lady faces this challenge: “Should I marry this poor potential prospective guy or go for that rich, ready made guy?” Sometimes, both guys are good. I mean the rich or the poor. They are poor guys who become rich and express their true colour and rich guys who are not the hit-and-run fellows,as a lot of people assume.And vice versa.

With a lot of money to throw around, any guy can play Mr Nice guy.All he simply has to do is shuffle money.Most ladies like nice things. A car. A new bag.And shoes. A surprise gift. You see, some ladies say it does not matter. But again they still work independently to buy THOSE things for themselves.

Money and women are related, some one once said humorously. Is that true?Some people say that money is a woman. Money and the woman have certain similarities.They both are elusive and evasive. They both love to be pursued. They relish the hide and seek game.

If you cannot talk or woo you can’t get both of them.Any of them. They both love attention.A lot of attention. They are both faithful servants both cruel masters. It is not any wonder that when the two meet, they stick. (laughs out loud).They quickly form an affinity. Very few women have a detached view of money. Very few. They may claim so but in reality it is not so.

And it is no fault of theirs. God created them so. Not to give but to receive.Even sexually they are designed to receive.So don’t blame her when she seeks security. She was designed to be secured, to be protected , to be made comfortable, to be provided for.A certain pastor once said that no matter the amount a wife earns, she would still want to ‘eat’ her husbands cash no matter how little he earns.To her his giving her of his substance, irrespective of how meager is proof that he truly loves her and can sacrifice for her. She is indeed a delicate creature.A ‘studyable’

Here is my point: Young lady, you deserve the best. But be careful not to pursue glory instead of seed. Remember that God gives you His best in seed format. All glory fades
but seed is potential. And potential is not what is, but what can be.

Have an eye for seed. It takes vision to see the tree in the seed. A tree will provide fruit but it is at the risk of being cut down.But a seed has growth potential.That is a powerful statement, so powerful you probably want to read it again.

Be sensitive.You deserve the best.You deserve to enjoy the good things of life. You deserve financial security. You deserve a good looking man. But you also deserve a ‘bright future’. Not just a present that is sure and a future that is uncertain. People throw stones on ripe fruit.All the best.

Feel free to call me for counseling and help.08187133153

WHEN TO BREAK UP

WHEN TO BREAK A RELATIONSHIP

My first serious date was in 2004.I was only 22, in my second year at school, and a leader of some sort in school.However, the young lady in question was a far cry away from who I was or what I was supposed to be. She was brash, wild, but beautiful.

I remember going back to Lagos to tell my mother,of blessed memory, about this girl.I showed her this girl’s picture.The only expression my wise mother gave was a scowl and then a forced smile.I got the message.

My sister was the one who spoke up.She said, ‘George, that girl is not your type.’ I was annoyed but it was the bitter truth.

I thank God that relationship didn’t work out.Knowing the kind of person I am, a loyalist, that relationship may have resulted in marriage. But after 3 years of struggle and pain and unfaithfulness from that lady, I had to walk away from it.

Let me share with you some thoughts that can help you quickly know whether that relationship you are in right now will result in marriage.The following tells you when to break a relationship

1.WHEN THERE IS EXTREME ARGUING AND FIGHTING: Yes even well matched couples may have a series of misunderstanding, but overall, if your fights outnumber your periods of peace, then you have something to worry about.

2.CONFLICTING GOALS AND VALUES: My first serious date was not going my way.I struggled to accept that fact.There is no point following someone who isn’t going your way.The person MUST share similar or complimentary passions and also share similar values. One of my dates used to tell me that I was so busy I didn’t have time for her.What was I busy doing? Pursuing my vision and dreams. If she was doing something similar and related, we both would have seen so much of each other in the place and pursuit of my interest.Our interests.

3.SEPARATION: First, I don’t believe in long distance relationships. I have seen a lot of corp members display unfaithfulness while away from their boy friends or fiance.One of those mails I received told me about how his girl friend got pregnant at the orientation camp.His discovery of the fact was devastating to him.When I chatted with this facebook friend of mine he was surprised to realize that I had a similar experience with someone I had trusted.

I also don’t believe that an old man of 35 should marry a woman of 22. The age bracket is wide. No generational connection.I have spoken with many ladies who say they prefer that.When I see such wedding ceremonies I really feel like vomiting. Somebody obviously would die earlier than the other.

4.EXTREME PHYSICAL INVOLVEMENT: One of the reasons I had to walk away from my first serious date was that it was too physical, if you know what I mean.It also kept me far away from God. My break up with that lady was a great relief.I didn’t have to repent EVERY TIME i was on my knees to pray.

When the sum total of the relationship revolves around physical thrills the both of you receive from each other, it is time to break that relationship.

Sex blinds us from the others mistakes. It makes us accept the others flaws.

5.ABUSE: Don’t tolerate ANYONE who beats or abuses you. If he beats you the first time, he will beat you again and again. His promises are all a lie.

Obviously, there are many other things you must consider before you quit that relationship. Don’t suffer in silence. You deserve the best. Stop managing. Go for what you want.

There was one of my dates who told me she had to move on. Initially, I was devastated; I desperately needed the relationship to work. Most of my friends knew about it. I had met her parents, and they knew me. She had met my parents too.Both parents had even met…but she came to me one day and told me that she had to move on.And she meant it.

There was somebody else, or wasn’t there?I had to eventually let her go. She deserved the best. And if I was not her best it would be unfair to allow her struggle through.

So know when to break UP AND MOVE ON.You deserve the best. Cheers.

HOW TO ATTRACT THE SPOUSE OF YOUR DREAMS

Marriage begins with YOU: Identifying who you are , what you have, what you like, and what you lack. It begins with self discovery. When you discover who you are, you know who don’t want.

Values are important. In fact, it is more important than the feelings of love, especially when it comes to marriage. In the long run, those things you value and share with your spouse are what will determine the longetivity of the relationship.

Until you discover yourself, your spouse cannot discover you. Self discovery leads to spouse discovery. When a woman becomes a wife in attitude and character, her husband shows up. If no man  is asking you for marriage, check yourself. The problem is not external, it is internal. Your values and personality create a magnetic flux around you. Young woman, if riff-raffs are the ones around you then the persona you are oozing is not that of a wife but of a harlot. Men sleep with girls but they marry wives.

What are your values? Have you made them habits, have you made them your life style? What are his/her values? Are they compatible with yours? What is your passion? Are your passions compatible or at least complimentary? They say, ‘opposite temperaments attract’ ; but it is similar values that will ‘glue’ the couple forever .Love is not what binds couples permanently together; it is  similar values.

Sex should never be your first motive for marriage. Remember that you will have plenty of it in the marriage. After all is said and done, something  in you would want a woman or man who shares similar or complimentary passions. Beauty is good, but go for content , for character.

When you find yourself, you find your spouse.

MY CONVERSATION WITH A LADY:

LIFE COACH: Why are you not married yet ?

 LADY: I have not seen the right man yet.

 LIFE COACH: That is not true.  And if it is so, it means that you have not become  the right woman yet. For when you become the right  woman the Right Man APPEARS.

 You are struggling with choice because you don’t know who are. Knowledge births peace, rest. Your eyes see your ‘bone of your bone; flesh of your flesh’ when you discover yourself. The law of attraction states: “You don’t get what  you want or who want ,you get who you are” The man or woman around you is  usually consistent with who you are. If what you see you don’t like, look back at you. Your relationships are a reflection of you. Like attracts like.

Courtship is not marriage. It is better to have a broken courtship than to have a broken marriage. The word ‘courtship’ seems to have the word ‘court’ embedded in it. One marriage counselor says, “Courtship is not for intercourse but for interview”. Another one said, “When you start touching, you stop talking”. Interesting. Determine your values.

Ask your ‘intended’ questions. What are his/her dreams? Where are you going to? Is she or he of the same faith? If so, what doctrinal values may cause trouble? How can they be solved? When engaged couples ask questions they solve a lot of problems.

Never be desperate. Young woman, remember that men do the finding, you do the positioning. Don’t just say ‘yes’ , think about it. There is joke said among bachelors that has some kind of wit in it. It goes: “If you ask a lady to marry you and she says no, DON’T ASK HER AGAIN. She is not your wife. Your real wife will not say ‘NO’. At worst, she will say, ‘Let me think about it’. If she says, ‘Let me think about it’, ask her again. If she says, ‘YES’ the very moment you asked her, WATCH AND PRAY. Either she is desperate or your real wife.”

Values are important. They will form the bedrock of your future family. They’d influence and shape your children. Similar values should inform your decision  for marriage, not desperation. I receive a lot of mails from ladies who are past 30 and desperately want  to make a marital decision. I sympathize with them. But if staying that long was because you didn’t find someone who shared like values, you are not  in the wrong track. Usually, however, your remaining unmarried is because you haven’t become a wife in attitude or character; or that your husband showed up and you were not sensitive enough to recognize.

 

BEFORE YOU SAY ‘I DO’

We all have nasty habits. Some have an odour, a belch , an attitude, a habit that may not be pleasant. What can you tolerate? How much can you tolerate? You should be able to stay with him/her in the toilet and not feel that that smell is offensive. You should be able to kiss him or her and not feel any repulsion(a physical activity like kissing before marry can lead to premarital sex; I use the last line only to buttress a point).

Young woman, you grew up in poverty, struggled to pay your fees, and got a job, now a scraggy looking, ‘my-future-is-bright’ fellow says he wants to marry you. If that is okay for you, go for it. If you see his potential and believe you can both make it together, no problem. But if it doesn’t feel right, if you think you should have a break, if you think that your prince in charming and shining armour should be rich, go for it girl. Especially if he is around the corner. You deserve the best. Go for what you want, what you deserve. Having said this ,remember that it is true that there is no guarantee that that young , poor man will become richer in the next 5 years. But there is also no guarantee that that old, rich man will remain rich in the next 5 years. Life is about twists and turns. Your choice should be based on personal conviction and tolerance. God tests every relationship at the point of its motive.

James Odili started relating with Julliet Bassey, and at some point decided that he could marry her. But he didn’t have money. While Julliet Bassey loved him, she kept seeing one banker who worked in a certain bank. Eventually, she broke his heart and married that banker. James Odili was devastated. He was devastated that his heart throb of so many years could do that to him. And he did go to beg her. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

A few months after she left, he got into Shell Training School and eventually got a job with them. Then Julliet’s banker husband lost her job and she was now the one devastated. By this time, James had gotten married to someone else. The other day James Odili himself told me that they met.He met Julliet after a few years.
“I wish I had married you”, she told him. “I thought I would be happy , but I am not. May be I married him for financial security reasons. But now that it is not there, I don’t know whether I love him or not.”
Shame. Remember: God tests every relationship at the point of its motive.

There will be many things you will have to tolerate. If you can’t tolerate, don’t commit martially. Why? You will be tested along those lines. Young man, here is some wisdom for you : Marry when you are still striving. ANY LADY who says yes to your proposal then and goes ahead to marry you, loves you. If you propose to ANY LADY when you have a Pajero jeep, live in a well furnished house, work in a N4OO,OOO a month salary outfit, SHE WILL SAY ‘YES’…and usually she isn’t the one. Be smart…it is difficult to see a virtuous woman when you are made

Can you tolerate his/her nasty, petty habits? Do you think you can suffer long with this person in sickness or in health?

There is this saying that marriage is for enjoyment, not endurance. I disagree. I think marriage is about both: enjoyment and endurance. Marriage is not a fairy tale story. It never ends with ‘and they lived happily after’. Life ends its story with ‘and they lived happily to the degree to which they made their marriage work’
Marriage is hard work. Are you ready?