3 APPROVALS THAT YOU MUST HAVE BEFORE YOU MARRY

The feeling of love is not an indication that you are ready; peace is. Peace is approval.

Feelings fluctuate. Feelings are a mediocre way of confirming readiness or revealing compatibility. Real love is more than feeling. In fact, it begins where feelings stop.

There is an inner witness. You first need inner approval. If there is no approval. If there is no peace in you, don’t make that move. Let peace always be your final indicator, your umpire. How do you know when there is ‘yes’ in you when you have not learnt how to fellowship with yourself? To fellowship with yourself is to enjoy singlehood, define your values , and set a trajectory for your life. To fellowship with yourself means to commune with your creator, the creator of you.

The same way you felt before you applied and got that job, that contract, or pursued that career, is the same way you will feel when it comes to the choice of a partner. God will deal with you the same way. If it was through dreams, vision, strong impression, the pattern and method would not change. God doesn’t direct you to one person but to a group of women who have similar values, temperaments that can be compatible with you. This happens through witness or inner peace.

The first approval you need is inner approval. Interestingly, that usually is God’s approval.

The second approval is mentoral or pastoral approval. Any engaged couple that doesn’t have mentoral or pastoral guidance is headed for trouble. People see what you don’t see. Focus is blind. You are so engrossed you need a mentoral or pastoral perspective. Our emotions and involvements many times becloud our perspective.

Young woman, don’t marry a man who doesn’t have a pastor or mentor he listens to. This is important because in the days of trouble, you can run to that mentor and your husband would listen to that mentor.

Young man, don’t marry a woman who isn’t loyal to a church or synagogue. Her submission is all the proof you need to believe that she will submit to you. Also, her pastor knows her and can tell you what to watch out for! If your pastor expresses reservation, consider. Don’t back off, but consider. Weigh the odds. Let reason conquer emotions. People observe what you don’t observe.

Third approval is parental and family approval

If your relationship isolates you, then be carefully about it. It is naturally for parents ,siblings and friends to show some form of jealousy. After all, they love you . They want best for you. In the midst of the fray , there may be wisdom. Of course! Your parents are not always right. Prayerfully, get your parental consent. Don’t fight your parents. There is a blessing they must give you.

There are conditions when parents because of prejudice, sentiments, tribal issues or status, may oppose. Eloping is not the answer. Living together is not either. Fighting and quarrelling are not it. There is place called the inner chamber. Never underestimate the power of the inner chamber. The heart of men are in the hands of God. Begin your courtship with prayer. A spiritual foundation is the best marital foundation. Pray about any opposition

Remember that marriage is not for boys, but for men; women, not girls. Age indeed isn’t maturity or sign of it, but a 16 years old girl should not be talking marriage; for marriage is a daunting task. It is better to enjoy singlehood than carry the burden of marriage at that early age. Take this test of approval seriously.

What are your siblings saying? And your friends? Now, they mustn’t totally agree, but they must admit that your ‘person’ is OK for you. If your parent, sibling and friends vehemently oppose your relationship, stop and consider. Their consent is key. Their consent is their blessing

https://chat.whatsapp.com/HJQzlm4uK5oAorbWCpGoG9

SOME GENERAL BELIEFS ABOUT MARRIAGE THAT ARE NOT TRUE

FALSE 1:God has created one exact man for one woman

FALSE 2. God will find your spouse for you

FALSE 3. Marriage is your key to happiness. All you have to do is to just get married.You can be married and very lonely.

FALSE 4. Love is all you need for a successful marriage

TRUE 1:  There are many persons whom God has created that can fit in and become your spouse

TRUE 2: Man does the finding. The woman does the positioning. God does the supervising.

TRUE 3: Happiness is a choice. Marriage would not guarantee you happiness.

TRUE 4: Not everyone MUST marry. Some people are better of singles for the purpose of their assignments and life mission. Not everyone WILL marry. This is because of their attitude. Not everyone CAN marry

TRUE 5:Responsibility and commitments,the acts of love, is what sustains marriage, not feelings

HOW TO CHOOSE A WIFE – BY LARRY IZAMOJE

In choosing women young men particularly entrepreneurs should never judge a person based on physical appearances alone.

Physical appearances or beauty should not be your only basis for picking a wife because it is fleeting.

In another 10 years that lady’s body will start to sag and wrinkles would begin to set in.

As a young entrepreneur or any young man, look for a woman who shares your vision, who shows interest in your business, who dreams the way you dream and who is ready to nurse and help you.

Not many ladies would have married me when my wife did.

Many years after our marriage we faced many storms but she believed in me and followed me.

There were times when it was her salary that footed most bills but she still believed in my dreams.

Today she holds my cheque.

She can withdraw anytime she likes and anytime she wants. Most of the booklets is presigned by me.

That is my reward for her faithfulness, support and dedication. Even at that, she is still a very prudent and helpful wife.

God has blessed me with many business business concerns including 3 RADIO STATIONS in 3 different cities in Nigeria. But most of all is first blessed me with a good wife.

Choose wisely.

THE BEST OF SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID QUOTES BY GEORGE ESSIEN

God doesn’t command us that we must marry the one we love, that is, the one we have strong feelings for.But He however commands that we must love the one that we marry.

Men love flowers too! Surprise your man with a gift that says you care also and watch his reaction,his smile,his joy.Do it today.

It’s good girls who keep the pregnancy and have the child.Bad girls no dey carry belle.

We will die if we don’t have food and water in many days. But we will not die because we didn’t have sex in many days.

When you marry your best friend you bring back a little piece of your childhood

Marriage is a collision of two histories, not Just 2 people. We don’t marry people, we marry histories

It is very dangerous to marry any individual who doesn’t have a pastor. A woman without a pastor will be unsubmissive. A man without a pastor will be a drunk and wife beater.

If you don’t want to tell him about the abortion, at least don’t tell him you are a virgin

Somewhere out there is someone who wants exactly the kind of person you are,complete with all the flaws and failings you come with.And let me tell you something else: they won’t even see them as flaws and failings.They will see them as part of your unique charm.And they will be right.

Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able to walk away takes courage. Walking away with your head high is dignity

There are 6 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS EVERY MAN SHOULD ASK A WOMAN HE INTENDS TO MARRY: (1) Tell me about your salvation experience.Are you born again? (2) Who is your pastor? (3) Having heard my life vision,can you follow me? (4) In what ways will you serve as a HELP MATE? (5) I don’t want surprises.Can you tell me everything about your past,including your Exs. (6) Are you a good cook?

God created ADAM and EVE, not ADAM and STEVE

You are not compatible with because you LOVE him or her.You are compatible with him or her because you KNOW him or her

Never compare your present relationship with your ex. Compare him or her with your values

Single people keep saying, “O I WISH I was married” ; Married people would often say, “O I WISH I had waited a bit”.

Funny world we live in.Some men see a wife material and treat her as a girl friend. Some others meet a mere girl friend and treat her as a wife .

‘All my friends are getting married!’ So what?It’s not about getting married.It’s about staying married and being happy.You deserve the best.Don’t be tempted to rush.

Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.Food for thought.

When you find the person who really makes you laugh more than anyone else, marry them. That is my advice.

You don’t have to wear a white wedding gown for your wedding.How about trying sky blue or lemon or light pink.Some people say the white symbolise sexual purity.Abeg! How many couples come to the altar sexually pure? White or no white, God knows the chaste couples. A change from the boring tradition will do.Afterall, in those days, in the 1800s in England where we borrowed this suit and gown thing from,women used to wear black!

For God’s sake where did we get this culture of a couple giving gifts to their guest at their wedding?They should be receiving gifts – lots of them! Not spending money to give people gifts for attending their wedding.It’s crazy. Odd. I’m at this wedding yesterday.The couple dole several gifts and soveniers.Trust Nigerians.They hustle for the gifts,even quarell. The ceremony ends.How much gifts does the couple go home with?Not so much.In fact, ridiculously small.Listen: you are not obligated to give anyone any gifts at your wedding ceremony.SELAH

When someone decides to leave, please let them go.People are like clothes; you can never be naked no matter how poor you are.

Money only impresses broke girls. When a woman works hard, a man with money is only a bonus and not a ladder for upgrade.

Not everyone is doing ‘it’….there are still couples who honour the marriage bed. They keep sex until after their wedding vows at the altar.God eventually honours the couple that does it the scripture way-no sex until after marriage.

No matter the rate of heart breaks and number of divorce, there is still long-lasting, committed love.Don’t you ever stop believing that for yourself.

We tend to judge others based on their ACTIONS and judge ourselves based on our INTENTIONS.

I don’t beleive in ‘love at first sight’.Love takes time to grow. It doesn’t just happen at the first, second or even third sighting.

6 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS EVERY MAN SHOULD ASK A WOMAN HE INTENDS TO MARRY

There are 6 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS EVERY MAN SHOULD ASK A WOMAN HE INTENDS TO MARRY: (1) Tell me about your salvation experience.Are you born again? (2) Who is your pastor? (3) Having heard my life vision,can you follow me? (4) In what ways will you serve as a HELP MATE? (5) I don’t want surprises.Can you tell me everything about your past,including your Exs. (6) Are you a good cook?

9 REASONS LADIES DON’T GET MARRIED ON TIME

1. SELECTIVE BLINDNESS: Your husband rarely ever comes fully packaged.It takes vision to see that that man who doesn’t look it,is your husband

2.INDEPENDENCE: No man wants to marry a completely independent woman. You scare pontential husbands away. They are scared you would not submit.Rather than buy a car, imvest in a business as a woman. It is wisdom.

3.NASTY ATTITUDES: Like anger,pride,wrong use of words are major reasons.

4.RELIGION: Good girls don’t get married,it is good girls who are smart that do.Don’t let no Pastor choose for you.

5.PARENTAL INFLUENCE

6. DRESSING: When a Woman wants to marry she tones down on reckless dressing

7.ASSOCIATION: If all your friends are singles how do you expect to marry on time?

8.SPIRITUAL COVENANTS: Some women are married to spiritual men who have sex with them in their dreams and until they get delivered,they would not get married

9.DESTINY : Not every person is meant to be married, mostly because of the kind of assignment God has for them.

O LORD! I MARRIED THE DEVIL

We arrived the Murtala Airport late on Saturday evening from Dubai.The flight had been smooth.

My younger sister, Elsie, was there to receive us. The moment she saw us, she brightened, and edged closer. She was looking delectable.I have always envied her body and her beauty. I still do.

Her steps were very deliberately sensual.

Nsikak grinned

I wore dark shades.

“Ah ah Sister. What about the glasses?” My younger sister, Elsie ,said.

I smirked, and removed my shades.

“Ahh, what happened to you?” She asked. The mark of the devil hadn’t totally erased.

She exchanged glances with Oga and he cleared his throat and replied. ” Hmmm, she fell from one of the stairs in Dubai”

“Stair case? What happened?That is serious”, Elsie said, concern in her voice. “Sister, I hope you are now alright?”

“I took her to the hospital” he said, hugging me.

I nodded a sympathetic nod. And gave a fake smile again.

“Madam, welcome”. Akpan our driver, said,as he took our luggages from us.

“Akpan, aba die?”, Nsiskak said. They exchanged handshakes and both laughed heartily.

“Idioko”, Akpan responded in the midst of the laughter.

We were led by Akpan, our driver, to where the SUV was parked. And we returned home in silence.

For the next one month I had no intercourse with my husband. I stayed in my room. As a matter of fact, I locked it.

But after about a month, I relaxed. Nsiskak seemed to change. He was nice, apologized repeatedly about what happened in Dubai, and bought me gifts.

Work returned to normal. I returned to my Bank job after the leave and Nsikak kept traveling round for his preaching engagements.He had quite a lot within Uyo where we lived. You could actually see his pictures on a number of Bill Boards as invited guest for a number of church programs.

I didn’t tell anyone about the Dubai incident. I just let it pass. It was my cross. I remained the submissive wife.

4 months into my marriage, I was bored.But I returned back to staying with him in his room. He didn’t touch me or make any attempt.There was a huge gap between us when we slept on that bed.

There was no sex again.

No spark.

No desire.

Just memories of violation. Of rape. Of the beatings. Though it was far behind, I could still feel it as if it were yesterday.

And still I wanted a man, a decent man. Decent sex. The regular sex.

Now I was getting attracted to some of my co-workers. I desperately wanted to have sex with one of them. Any of them. Women, do understand this?

I was living in hell.

I went to work this Monday morning.

By 10 am there was a file my boss needed for me to provide. But it occurred to me that I had left it at home.

I hurried back home in my SUV.

I dashed into the house. The door was unlocked. Then I went to his room, opened the door to go fetch the file that most likely was at the side of the bed.

I heard moans and stopped dead in my track.

They were both underneath the sheet.

His head was the one I noticed first. There was no shock in his eyes.

Then I saw the next person and my jaw dropped!

“Akpan, what are you doing in my matrimonial bed?!”

Wedding Rules You can BREAK!

There is no rule, even in the Bible, that says that you must give your wife a wedding ring. How about giving her a gold wedding necklace as your symbol of love? And she giving a cute wedding hand band?

There is no rule that says you must feed everyone at your wedding. Restrict your wedding IV. If you cannot afford to restrict it, don’t bother yourself about food going round. Work with 150 to 200. Your real people, the people who would give you special gifts, will not eat at your wedding.

There is no rule that says your wedding must be on a Saturday. How about on a Sunday? Or Wednesday(You will know those who truly love you). How about doing the traditional and white wedding on the same day?

There is no rule that says that your wedding must be in a church building? How about a beautiful Hotel? Or a pool side?How many of your church members come for the wedding ‘sef’? Don’t you notice that the church halls aren’t really filled at the church service? Have your wedding at the reception venue. Let the pastor come there and give a brief sermon and then wed you both. How many couples listen to the long message on that day ‘sef’?

There is no rule that says that your wedding must be in the morning. How about an evening wedding?

There is no rule that says that you must wear a white wedding gown. How about a cream coloured gown? Or lemon or sky blue or a beautiful shade of red?

HOW STRONG IS YOUR LOVE?

Every relationship, no matter how passionate and intense it is now ,will tested by 4 major things:

(1) The challenges and pressures of life

(2) The distraction of a seemingly better alternative: Most relationships will experience a time when the man or woman would be interested in someone else, howbeit brief.

(3) Finance:Money is probably the most common reason why women don’t marry the man they love but marry the one who can provide.

(4) influence of friends and loved ones

Yet the bible says true love is stronger than death. Love is not about ‘how passionate’but about ‘how committed’.

KINGS DON’T BEG

If you beg her to marry you, you will beg  her to remain in marriage with you. Don’t beg any woman to marry you, only propose. If she says no, smile and let her go. She doesn’t truly know who and what she is losing. Trust me on that. Your packaging is deceptive. God hides value in bland properties.

She also doesn’t know that when God wants to give a person a gift , He usually would give her a seed. Her harvest is in the seed. All glory fades, but seed is potential.

KINGS DON’T BEG, THEY PROPOSE.