THE BEST OF SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID QUOTES BY GEORGE ESSIEN

God doesn’t command us that we must marry the one we love, that is, the one we have strong feelings for.But He however commands that we must love the one that we marry.

Men love flowers too! Surprise your man with a gift that says you care also and watch his reaction,his smile,his joy.Do it today.

It’s good girls who keep the pregnancy and have the child.Bad girls no dey carry belle.

We will die if we don’t have food and water in many days. But we will not die because we didn’t have sex in many days.

When you marry your best friend you bring back a little piece of your childhood

Marriage is a collision of two histories, not Just 2 people. We don’t marry people, we marry histories

It is very dangerous to marry any individual who doesn’t have a pastor. A woman without a pastor will be unsubmissive. A man without a pastor will be a drunk and wife beater.

If you don’t want to tell him about the abortion, at least don’t tell him you are a virgin

Somewhere out there is someone who wants exactly the kind of person you are,complete with all the flaws and failings you come with.And let me tell you something else: they won’t even see them as flaws and failings.They will see them as part of your unique charm.And they will be right.

Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able to walk away takes courage. Walking away with your head high is dignity

There are 6 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS EVERY MAN SHOULD ASK A WOMAN HE INTENDS TO MARRY: (1) Tell me about your salvation experience.Are you born again? (2) Who is your pastor? (3) Having heard my life vision,can you follow me? (4) In what ways will you serve as a HELP MATE? (5) I don’t want surprises.Can you tell me everything about your past,including your Exs. (6) Are you a good cook?

God created ADAM and EVE, not ADAM and STEVE

You are not compatible with because you LOVE him or her.You are compatible with him or her because you KNOW him or her

Never compare your present relationship with your ex. Compare him or her with your values

Single people keep saying, “O I WISH I was married” ; Married people would often say, “O I WISH I had waited a bit”.

Funny world we live in.Some men see a wife material and treat her as a girl friend. Some others meet a mere girl friend and treat her as a wife .

‘All my friends are getting married!’ So what?It’s not about getting married.It’s about staying married and being happy.You deserve the best.Don’t be tempted to rush.

Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.Food for thought.

When you find the person who really makes you laugh more than anyone else, marry them. That is my advice.

You don’t have to wear a white wedding gown for your wedding.How about trying sky blue or lemon or light pink.Some people say the white symbolise sexual purity.Abeg! How many couples come to the altar sexually pure? White or no white, God knows the chaste couples. A change from the boring tradition will do.Afterall, in those days, in the 1800s in England where we borrowed this suit and gown thing from,women used to wear black!

For God’s sake where did we get this culture of a couple giving gifts to their guest at their wedding?They should be receiving gifts – lots of them! Not spending money to give people gifts for attending their wedding.It’s crazy. Odd. I’m at this wedding yesterday.The couple dole several gifts and soveniers.Trust Nigerians.They hustle for the gifts,even quarell. The ceremony ends.How much gifts does the couple go home with?Not so much.In fact, ridiculously small.Listen: you are not obligated to give anyone any gifts at your wedding ceremony.SELAH

When someone decides to leave, please let them go.People are like clothes; you can never be naked no matter how poor you are.

Money only impresses broke girls. When a woman works hard, a man with money is only a bonus and not a ladder for upgrade.

Not everyone is doing ‘it’….there are still couples who honour the marriage bed. They keep sex until after their wedding vows at the altar.God eventually honours the couple that does it the scripture way-no sex until after marriage.

No matter the rate of heart breaks and number of divorce, there is still long-lasting, committed love.Don’t you ever stop believing that for yourself.

We tend to judge others based on their ACTIONS and judge ourselves based on our INTENTIONS.

I don’t beleive in ‘love at first sight’.Love takes time to grow. It doesn’t just happen at the first, second or even third sighting.

O LORD! I MARRIED THE DEVIL

We arrived the Murtala Airport late on Saturday evening from Dubai.The flight had been smooth.

My younger sister, Elsie, was there to receive us. The moment she saw us, she brightened, and edged closer. She was looking delectable.I have always envied her body and her beauty. I still do.

Her steps were very deliberately sensual.

Nsikak grinned

I wore dark shades.

“Ah ah Sister. What about the glasses?” My younger sister, Elsie ,said.

I smirked, and removed my shades.

“Ahh, what happened to you?” She asked. The mark of the devil hadn’t totally erased.

She exchanged glances with Oga and he cleared his throat and replied. ” Hmmm, she fell from one of the stairs in Dubai”

“Stair case? What happened?That is serious”, Elsie said, concern in her voice. “Sister, I hope you are now alright?”

“I took her to the hospital” he said, hugging me.

I nodded a sympathetic nod. And gave a fake smile again.

“Madam, welcome”. Akpan our driver, said,as he took our luggages from us.

“Akpan, aba die?”, Nsiskak said. They exchanged handshakes and both laughed heartily.

“Idioko”, Akpan responded in the midst of the laughter.

We were led by Akpan, our driver, to where the SUV was parked. And we returned home in silence.

For the next one month I had no intercourse with my husband. I stayed in my room. As a matter of fact, I locked it.

But after about a month, I relaxed. Nsiskak seemed to change. He was nice, apologized repeatedly about what happened in Dubai, and bought me gifts.

Work returned to normal. I returned to my Bank job after the leave and Nsikak kept traveling round for his preaching engagements.He had quite a lot within Uyo where we lived. You could actually see his pictures on a number of Bill Boards as invited guest for a number of church programs.

I didn’t tell anyone about the Dubai incident. I just let it pass. It was my cross. I remained the submissive wife.

4 months into my marriage, I was bored.But I returned back to staying with him in his room. He didn’t touch me or make any attempt.There was a huge gap between us when we slept on that bed.

There was no sex again.

No spark.

No desire.

Just memories of violation. Of rape. Of the beatings. Though it was far behind, I could still feel it as if it were yesterday.

And still I wanted a man, a decent man. Decent sex. The regular sex.

Now I was getting attracted to some of my co-workers. I desperately wanted to have sex with one of them. Any of them. Women, do understand this?

I was living in hell.

I went to work this Monday morning.

By 10 am there was a file my boss needed for me to provide. But it occurred to me that I had left it at home.

I hurried back home in my SUV.

I dashed into the house. The door was unlocked. Then I went to his room, opened the door to go fetch the file that most likely was at the side of the bed.

I heard moans and stopped dead in my track.

They were both underneath the sheet.

His head was the one I noticed first. There was no shock in his eyes.

Then I saw the next person and my jaw dropped!

“Akpan, what are you doing in my matrimonial bed?!”

MEN AND THEIR ROVING EYES: THE ART AND SIN OF ‘LOOKRY’

Almost all men commit this sin. Even the married men! Now the ones who don’t do it, probably don’t when their wife is with them.

Is having roving eyes a sin? Should men commit the so called ‘sin’ of ‘lookry’? Or How should they artfully do it?

A lady once said to me that it is okay for her man to ‘look’ but what she would not like is for him to go any further, like speak or worst still touch!

A certain man said to me that ‘lookry’ is inevitable and is not a sin…and it is not wrong to admire God’s shapely and beautiful creation

Now, before you start thinking this is a joke, hear what this married said to me when we discussed this.” George Essien all men look. I have seen even pastors look. My husband looks while he is driving the car but he does it stylishly. Those days I used to quarrel with him. Now, I don’t mind. When we are in the vehicle together and I see a fine lady, I tell him to look so that he doesn’t pretend and go further’

Hmmm. Some holier than thou people say it is outrightly a sin. This looking art is really an issue. One embittered single man said, ” Why wouldn’t married men look when their wives are busy growing fat with pot bellies. They no more look as attractive as they looked when they single and engaged”

And my thoughts?Well I can only say that we cannot do anything about what we see but we can do alot about what we meditate on.

THE DELILAH STRATEGIES: HOW TO KEEP YOUR HUSBAND

For years now many pulpiteers and preachers have condemned Delilah as a prostitute and the one responsible for the ruining of the great man Samson.Of course she did.But then, I have this question for them: What made Samson keep coming back to Delilah even though he knew she wanted to find out the secret of his strength?

Could it have been just sex? I doubt. This is because there were prostitutes that Samson slept with but who didn’t have such infleunce over him to get him to come back.Or could it be that Delilah was the most beautiful girl in Philistine? I doubt that too.

I personally think that Delilah knew HOW TO KEEP HER MAN AT HOME.She knew how to make a man return back to her laps.

Here are few secrets I guessed she used and every woman can use to keep her man.IF A MAN IS UNFAITHFUL…THE WOMAN OBVIOUSLY HAS LOST GROUND AND HASN’T BEING DOING HER JOB WELL. Let me share with you some Strategies I feel can be of help.I call it….

DELILAH STRATEGIES:

DELILAH STRATEGY 1: SMELL GOOD; LOOK GOOD. Don’t dress in wrapper after you are married.When your husband comes back from work, what does he see? A woman wrapped like and old, worn out woman? But that is not what he sees at work on those lovely secretaries and co workers.

Don’t smell soup or smoke when he comes back from work.Smell good, romantic and be on your sexiest bump shot so that when he comes home, he wondering and staring at you.Prayer won’t keep your husband at home.This will!…prayers
come later on once you have done that.

DELILAH STRATEGY 2: COOK WELL. Your husband should WANT TO COME BACK HOME TO EAT YOUR MEALS.All that talk about the maid does that is foolish.After good sex, a good meal is what ANY MAN wants from his wife.Will your husband be able to call his friends over to his house to eat your meal? Sister, learn how to cook.Stop making excuses.

DELILAH STRATEGY 3: BE HIS NUMBER ONE ENCOURAGER: No one should praise your husband more than you.NO ONE.Let him know that you are his number one cheer leader.Ask him about his business.Don’t advice him, just listen to him. Listening is the biggest encouragement he can receive from you.

Tell him sometimes: “My lord, saviour of my body, the one who leads me…i admire you” Do you know that is scriptural?Submission is a charm. it activates love naturally.

Your husband is not your friend or partner, he is your Lord.Give him the honour.

DELILAH STRATEGY 4: GIVE HIM GOOD SEX. Let every sexual time be one he would remember. Read the book ART OF MARRIAGE by Tim Lahaye. It would be of great help. Don’t take your sexual lief for granted. Many do. I have talked with not less than 5 married men who complain about their wives inexperience and refusal to learn about sex.

Sex is an art.It can be learnt..but please do it in marriage. There is less guilt and you are on the side of God.God watches married people have sex.And he is disappointed when any of them goes away unfulfilled.He created it and believes that if we do it properly we can get it right.

All the best.

SIGNS YOU ARE STILL MISSING YOUR EX

1. SOCIAL MEDIA LASHING: You trash talk him on twitter and Facebook.

2. OVERDRESSING AND OVERCOMPENSATING:
You dress up in hopes you will run into him and when you do see him, you make your life seem really awesome..because, obviously, you are better off without him and he should see what you are missing!

Yet, you have got to realize what you are missing in making him the center of your life.

3. YOU COMPARE EVERYONE TO HIM:
Even if you think you are ready to start dating again, every time you meet a new guy, you make a list of all the ways he doesn’t measure up to your ex. Once you are really over him, you will measure men on their own merits.

4. YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN THAT HOT DUDE GIVING YOU THE EYE:
You have men throwing themselves at you left and right, eager to love the pain away. When you ex calls, however, you pick up right away.

5. YOU STILL CYBER STALK HIM:
The other day you while you wandering about Facebook, you noticed that a cute girl had left a flirtatious message on your ex wall. So you attempted to hack into her Facebook account, and scoured the Facebook pages of your ex’s mom, sister and grand mother for even the subtlest mention of either you or a new romance. I want you to know: This is unhealthy…and possibly illegal.

6. YOU ARE STILL HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EX:
You still meet to have sex. Ex sex isn’t always a terrible idea..but it usually is. If you have recently broken up, you can’t have sex and expect that you won’t remain emotionally involved. So, straighten up.

7. YOU STILL HABOUR THE (NOT SO) SECRET FANTASY THAT THE TWO OF YOU STILL HAVE A FUTURE TOGETHER:
And this misguided belief is keeping you from living life or at least giving anyone new a chance to love you. While no one can really know what the future holds, it’s best to remember that break ups happen for a reason..And often, that reason was a good one. If you are holding back on your future, it is likely that you are stuck in the past.

Going through a terrible relationship break up can appear so crushing. You might believe you will never ever get over them. Or that your life will never be the same again. Although those feelings are very real in the first place, there is no reason to believe that you can’t get over it and move on.

Begin with closure.When a relationship comes to a horrible end, particularly if you are the one that was dumped just about all people need and require closure. This means that you have acknowledged the reality that relationship is over and you are ready to go on. You need to say it out loud and in your mind that the relationship is finished and believe it. If you believe there is a chance that you will get back together with your ex you will never be able to go on with your life.

Finger Painting Girls!

They are everywhere!

All they know how to do is look good. They can’t cook, are not domesticated, and want to rule a man in the household.

Everything about them is artificial. Their breast is artificial. Their nails are artificial. Their eye lashes are artificial. Even their attitude is artificial.

They claim to be career women…when actually they use career to hide their non feminine, non ‘wify’ tendencies.

If they get married…they rule the home.

Smart guys spot them quickly and avoid them.

Is finger painting bad? Well, no if it is done moderately. Beyond the finger painting and good looks, a wife should be able to juggle well between her career and her home

Submission Begins in Courtship

When a man marries a GOOD WIFE, he is very happy; When he marries a BAD WIFE, HE BECOMES A PHILOSOPHER.

Be careful who you marry. You see, marriage is not friendship. It serious business. You deserve happiness in your marriage. If you are a man you deserve respect and if you are a woman you deserve love.

Remember, your husband is not just your friend, he is your lord. I know 21st century ladies are raising eye brows at that line. Sarah called Abraham Lord. Young woman, he is not your husband if you CANNOT respect him. The ‘honour’ should be something that comes to you almost naturally. Not that you are designed to be inferior but you should see that man and know you can respect him.

Submission begins in courtship. It must be said that it is not in a woman to submit because everything a man can be, a woman can be. She has the same mind and intelligence, save the same strength . Since our world runs on an intellectual platform and frequency a woman can match any man. The Scripture didn’t say a woman should submit to a man. It said a wife should submit to her husband. Submission is deliberate. It is almost not natural. It is an instruction from God, not a suggestion. The beautiful thing is that it is that which can activate the love of a man..

Submission is the charm that can activate love. However, having said this, let me say that as a lady there are some men you cannot submit to no matter how you try. This is important in compatibility. Your man should be someone you can call lord and friend. Now he doesn’t have to be richer or more intelligent than you.

If , however, this is important to you, go for that. This will help you obey the commandment of submission.

Young woman, if your submission in attitude to your finance doesn’t activate his love then he may not be the one. Submission should activate love. Indication that you are compatible is that this happens.

Young man, there is a respect that comes over you when you meet the person you want to marry. Men sleep with girls; but they marry wives. Sex is not ultimately in their mind, marriage is. She can be your wife. She can be the mother of your children. Look at you say of her in the company of your friends, “Please meet my wife”. And there is a broad smile on your face while everyone stands to shake her and even call her madam.

HOW TO WASTE A WOMAN’S TIME

In February I was in Ebonyi State to train some lecturers at the Ebonyi State University on the United Nations 21st Century Facilitation methods for Communicators.It was a 2 day intensive training.A very exhaustive class.After one of those days, I returned to my hotel to rest and prepare for another session when I received a call.

“Hello”, my voice dulled in response.I was tired.I had been speaking for over 3 hours and needed at least a 30 minute rest.

“It is me, Chioma.”, the voice at the other end said.

“Chioma?”I asked.” Plese Chioma who?”

“Yeah, Chioma Nnamdi.Chioma of Revival Fellowship.Chioma of University of Uyo.I used to date one Daniel Bassey on campus.Remember? I have been following your posts on Facebook.You are doing a great work.” She answered.

Somehow, I remembered and forced myself to seat up.”Yeah, Chioma. I think I remember you.How is Daniel? Are you guys married now?”

There was a pause.Then an emotion soaked voice responded, “No…we broke up last week.”

“Broke up? Like for real or for one of those stunts?”

“George, it is for real.He just suddenly told me that he had gone for introduction for another lady, that he was sorry and that he wished me the best.He said that God told him that we were not supposed to be husband and wife , and that he did not know how to tell me.So he had to meet this lady whom he was sure was his wife and start a relationship.He said that their parents had met and preparations for marriage was on the move.”

“What!” I exclaimed. “After, 10 years? I don’t believe this. What happened.Please can you give me his number?That marriage has to be opposed. He cannot just wake up one morning and make such decision.Please give me his number.”

Chioma said silently with a confidence that was previously not there. “I won’t. And please don’t bother to reach out to him. Such is life.I just called to say that I have been reading your stuff on Facebook and that you are doing a great work.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

I was still stunned. I didn’t know what to say to her, and come to think about it this Daniel was my friend from way back.Why would he do such a thing? Why would he waste such a lady’s time? That lady had given him everything: her time, her youth, her emotions, and yes her body. Yes it was no marriage, but 99 percent close to marriage. What would you say when a lady cooks for you, washes your clothes, gives you sex, rents a house for you, believes in your singing ministry and waits for you?What would you call that?

Daniel and I shared the same room during our university days in 2004.I remember that relationship from back them. They were the envy of everyone. It seemed nothing under heaven could break them.

Daniel used to sing in the fellowship that we both went.And O he could sing! She could sing too! So most times she backed him up.This two walked everywhere together. They went to minister together.Even after campus days, I heard she went for service and still came back to him.She got a low paying job but was still committed to him. Daniel didn’t have a job.

There was a time during those days when one fellowship pastor was after Chioma. Daniel fought tooth and nail to sabotage that possibility. He even challenged the fellowship pastor publicly. In 2010, I heard that man of God got married to a friend of Chioma.

And now in 2013, almost 10 years, this so called anointed singing brother was a taking a walk….and no,not just taking a walk, marrying someone else!

That was devilish.

Look, personally I believe that all those long relationships are a sheer waste of time. If you are in one,I suggest that you move on. A man who wants to marry you will do everything in his power to do it quickly.

Men waste time with women because they get free sex.Free money.Free YOU.That is the bitter truth. I have seen poor folks do the impossible , get married to the girl of their dreams because sex was ‘stayed’ from the relationship. The sex drive moved the young man to move and make the wedding happen. When we move, providence moves too.

Is it possible for campus relationships to result in marriage? Yes, I can testify of a few…but the percentage is still very infinitesimal.

As young people our values are different.Our values are simple and youngish; but as we grow older and see responsibilities ahead of us we see things differently. Our taste change. Our choices also change. Most campus relationships don’t survive through.The ones that do are from sheer determination.

Now 31, Chioma seems hopeless.The other day, I was on my knees praying when Chioma came to my mind.I had to pray for her. She had devoted 10 years of her youthful time hoping on Daniel.

Are you doing that? Young woman, you can walk away today.And yes start all over again.

http://www.singletalks.wordpress.com

5 REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH A MARRIED MAN

(1) WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, HE’D GO FOR HIS WIFE & ABANDON YOU:
A man can love a woman and not have sex with her; and yet not love a woman and still ‘enjoy’ sex with her.How so stupid it is to believe that he is really yours!

(2)IF THE MARRIED WOMAN PRAYS FOR YOU, YOU WILL BE CURSED :
This is especially if the woman is faithful to God, if she never slept other women’s husbands. Her prayers get to God.Those prayers touch God.Some barren women’s issues are traceable to this grave sin.Some women are not married because of this or have unfaithful husbands because of this.

(3)WHEN YOU GET MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE WOULD SLEEP WITH YOUR OWN HUSBAND:

It is all a matter of sowing and reaping. Some bad girls already know this, that is why they rarely ever complain about what their spouse do…just that they would prefer that the man doesn’t let them know about the lady. Women who say, “All men cheat” are usually culprits. That is their own defensive way of saying “I shouldn’t care less because I know what I did to married men.”

(4)YOUNG WOMAN,YOU ARE DOING IT FOR THE MONEY.IT IS NOT FOR LOVE:
Or would you really sincerely say it isn’t? A particular lady said , “Well, married men know how to take care of women”. Is that so? Why should he take care of you and not his wife now that he has money?Is that fair?

(5)IF YOU GET PREGNANT, AND YOU KEEP IT, THE CHILD WILL STILL BE ILLEGITIMATE: How so sad. Many children suffer because of the stupidity of their mothers. I know of a number.

Be single but not stupid.

http://www.singlebutnotstupid.wordpress.com