3AMAZING LADIES WHO RUN THEIR NGOS AND TOUCH LIVES

I first met Uduakabasi Okon in 2007 at a Mr. Biggs restaurant, Ikot Ekpene Road. Sincerely, at that period she was going through some relationship issues. But one thing that I remember about those eyes of hers was that they were determined eyes

Yes, she was a single mother. She had returned back from Lagos to Uyo , but she was determined to make something out of her life.After we talked, I told her to come to my office and I put her through some personal development training. She went through a program we call PROGRAM 7: THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT SKILLS IN LIFE. Uduakabasi Okon didn’t only go through this program she grew so fast and became a teacher of that program in PowerMinds Community.

Today, she runs a school called Elsha Vocational School, which has trained scores of people and runs a radio program in Uyo. People now call her mentor! It is amazing how a person whose life didn’t seem to have a direction suddenly had one.

Nikky-baby Israel Eshiet came for my special FACEBOOK LUNCH TIME OUT in February 11, 2012. After that, she stuck.She also was a single mother…but after an encounter with our program PROGRAM 7, she turned her mess into a message. Today, she runs an NGO called NIKKY & KIDS and is doing very well at it. Last year at the Women in Business Conference, she testified about how her life had truly made progress.

Eno-obong George always wanted to publish her book. She was directed to me.And we made it come true! But she didn’t stop there…she attended our program for Public Speakers and became certified as a speaker by PowerMinds.
Today, she runs her NGO in Oron, Akwa Ibom State and also runs a blog!

If they can , you too can!

Choose to be relevant.

Encounter….CHANGE through our programs

One way is to be part of the WOMEN IN BUSINESS CONFERENCE (II)

THEME: YOUR COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE: STARTING, SUSTAINING & GROWING YOUR BUSINESS IN A SEEMING MEN’S WORLD

TO REGISTER: sms BUSINESS WOMAN to 07010656135
DATE: 23rd June, 2013.
TIME: 10AM- 4PM
REG: FREE

VENUE: BURMS CONSULTING HALL(UP STAIRS). 103 IKOT EKPENE ROAD, UYO, AKWA IBOM STATE.

AVAILABLE SEATS: 50

LESSONS TO LEARN:

(1) 5 Businesses you can start from Kitchen & Take the world.
(2) Home Business Ideas:Marketing Your Business to millions of people with just you laptop and modem as an office
(3) Strategic Fund Raising Strategies
(4) Writing a Powerful and Compelling Proposal
(5) Producing,Packaging & Promoting Body Cream
(6) Branding.
(7) CAC Registration and Business Legal documentations
(8) How to design a Commercial Blog in 20 minutes

SPEAKERS:

Consultants working with PowerMinds Community

To be part of it, sms BUSINESS WOMAN to 07010656135 now!

For enquiries call: 2347010656135

HOW TO COPE WITH A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Keeping a relationship vibrant and healthy when you live in the same area is challenging enough. But when couples are separated by geographical distance, it puts extra strain on the partnership. Issues surrounding trust,commitment,communication, and finances are exacerbated and complicated in long-distance relationships. Here are eight strategies that can help you thrive in a long-distance relationship.

1. Define the parameters – together.

Sit down together and map out this new long-distance arrangement. For each of you, what are your concerns? How often will you visit? What about relationship worries, such as intimacy, jealousy and trust? Get everything out into the open from the get-go so you can both begin this new adventure on the same footing.

2. See its benefits and look at the upside.

One or both of you may feel distressed about this unwelcome separation. One way to transform your negative outlook is to “reframe” the situation. That is, try to view the long-distance relationship in a positive light. How might living apart for a finite amount of time be beneficial? For example, you’ll have more time to do your own thing. You won’t take each other for granted. Your reunions will be sexy and exciting. It’s a vertical career move. And so on. See if you can each come up with at least three benefits.

3. Make a future plan.

Ask your partner: Where do you see us in one year? How about five years? Talk about what each of you can do, in the context of living apart, that will make this future vision come true. Having shared goals is one of the keys to a happy relationship, and doing this activity subtly reminds each of you that you’re working as a team. Living in separate homes does not mean you have to lead separate lives and have separate futures.

4. Establish frequent and regular contact.

Set up regular phone or Skype dates. Communicate every day, more than once, if possible. It’s critically important, when two people are unable to have physical intimacy, to maintain an emotional bond.
Even if your partner isn’t really a “talker,” find ways to stay in touch. If she hates being on the phone, then email, text or instant message each other.
Share your little triumphs and tragedies, or just something funny that happened during the day.Ask about each other’s day. Get to know what a “day in the life” of your partner looks like.

5. Schedule face time.

Talking, video chatting and writing are all great. But to maintain a romantic relationship, you need to make the time to see each other face-to-face.
Together, go over your work, family and other obligations and then schedule times when you’ll visit. It’s also important for the stay-at-home partner to visit the relocated one so that he or she has more than a verbal description of the partner’s
other home, city and favorite haunts.

6. Don’t keep secrets.

Transparency and inclusion are the two most important defenses against jealously, suspicion, and paranoia. Tell your partner about the people in your life. Don’t omit events or interactions simply because they might inspire a twinge of jealousy. It’s natural that each of you will experience loneliness from time to time. But you can keep yourself from acting on it – and keep your partner from worrying
that you will – by disclosing your feelings andgiving lots of details about your life.

7. Keep reinventing the romance.

This is my favorite strategy, because it’s the one that’s the most fun and rewarding. Surprise your partner with a love letter or a gift. Send him a spontaneous email Keep each other smiling.

HOW TO ORGANIZE AN AFFORDABLE WEDDING IN NIGERIA

It is the goal of any couple to put together a wedding, and a decent one at that.Isn’t it?

How much does a typical Nigerian wedding cost? Let say between N1 Million and N2.5 Million. Right? Some go for higher. If you are unfortunate to have greedy parents in laws, ‘your own don finish’. I know a young man who had a list of that ran into N4 Million. That didn’t cover the Traditional marriage and white wedding. The man in question bolted…lol.

Young people interested in marriage go through a lot. I know of one who finished marrying and then had to hide for months because his creditors were looking for him. I wonder what kind of honey moon he had? Another husband suddenly turned very lean just after his wedding…when i asked him what was wrong he just said, “Men, the wedding o.”

With poverty everywhere, and parents in laws refusing to compromise on their very long lists, a tactic must be developed so that every single young man in Nigeria who wants to marry can.

Is it possible to put together an affordable wedding in Nigeria? Of course , it is. Here are some ideas.

1. MARRY A WISE WOMAN. Marry a woman who knows that wedding is for just a day and that marriage is for a life time. Marry a woman who knows that no matter how glamorous your wedding turns out, someone else will do a better one.Marry a woman who has the guts to look into her parent’s eyes and say, “I want to get married !” and mean it. Be choosy about the kind of wife you marry. Don’t marry a liability.

2. GO TO THE RIGHT HOME TO PICK YOUR WIFE.Be careful what home you go to pick a wife. Some parent in laws are not just worth it, especially the demanding ones. If their daughter cannot talk to them and things are sorted out, you have an issue.

3. DISCUSS YOUR BUDGET WITH YOUR WIFE.Tell your wife about your budget.

4. ASK FOR HELP.Don’t be afraid to ask your committee of friends for help.It is pride to think you can do it all.

5. STICK TO YOUR BUDGET.

6. DO A JOINT WEDDING.Joint weddings are cheaper. These days pastors join several couples on the same day, isn’t that so? How about doing a joint reception with a couple that may agree. It would be fun and lovely. You will cut on hall and decorations.You will also cut on food. You two can both have one MC. Everything still remains the same. Wedding trains will be different.Both couples will each have their lovely chairs on the platform. Their cakes will be different too. The space for their parents would be different. The camera men would be different…but there will be one central camera man. The wedding program would be the same. Fun, right? Yeah! Some Catholic churches are already encouraging these to help couples cut down on cost. I was in one that had 3 weddings at the same time.Well organized.It was fun..It was different!

7. RECEIVE GIFTS…DON’T GIVE GIFTS. Where did we get that culture that the couple must give gifts to guest? Rubbish! You are to collect and not give. Go to a typical Nigerian wedding and see the rush for gifts!

8. DO A WEEK DAY WEDDING. Imagine doing a wedding on a Wednesday by 4pm? Yeah. Only those who love you will be there.

9. USE YOUR CHURCH PREMISES FOR RECEPTION. I think that is a brilliant idea.

10. DO A TRADO AND REGISTRY AND THEN WHITE LATER. Not a bad idea too. The most important thing in marriage is your parental consent and the recognition of your marriage by he Federal Republic of Nigeria. Church celebration can come later.But please don’t forget to involve your pastor in your Trado and Court.

11. ALWAYS SAVE FOR AFTER THE WEDDING. Don’t borrow and make sure you have something to feed your wife.

12. USE AN OPEN SPACE WITH CANOPIES, RATHER THAN HALLS. obviously that is cheaper.

13. FEED A CERTAIN NUMBER OF PEOPLE. Look, the truth is that not everyone eats in a wedding. The people who truly love you, may not have time to eat. So focus on a few guest and don’t worry about people who complain that they did not eat in your wedding.

SOLOMON AKEYESI’S DOUBLE MARRIAGE PALAVA!

Married actor, Solomon Akiyesi, left his 8 months pregnant wife in Port Harcourt and came to Lagos to marry his mistress, Uloma Agwu

This sounds like something out of a movie, but it’s real life. Let me tell you guys the story. Nollywood actor, Solomon Akiyesi married Lilian Akiyesi seven years ago, after the two dated for six years.
So they’ve been together for thirteen years. After trying for years to conceive, Lilian finally got pregnant last year…but unknown to her, her husband was having an affair with a Lagos based lady. (Lilian and Solomon are based in Port Harcourt).

Solomon’s Lagos based girlfriend got pregnant and the two started planning a wedding that was supposed to take place today April 13th. Fortunately for Lilian, she got wind of the wedding plans just days ago. And according to what her friend told me, Solomon sent money to Lilian just yesterday Friday April 12th and promised to return home next week. He told Lilian that he was in Lagos to shoot a movie.

When Lilian confirmed the wedding was really going to happen today, she contacted the police, took some family members and friends and stormed the wedding venue – Overcomers World Outreach located at Overcomers Close, off Ramlat Timson str, in Aguda, Surulere.

Lilian, who is eight months pregnant, stormed the church and managed to stop the wedding before the pastor could pronounce her husband and his mistress ‘husband and wife’. The police were later called to return sanity to the place

MUST ONE MARRY A MAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE HIS CHILD?

GEORGE ESSIEN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION 122

Good day George, how are you doing? i READ ALL your facebook post and your blog.Keep it up.Please I’ll love to get solutions or suggestions to this issue via your post.

My name is Osagede Martha, and I had a child for one Kunle when I was 18 and he was 23. That child has grown into a cute boy of 10yrs old, and we are still dating.

His family contributes to our upkeep. Recently I had to move in with my child to Kunle’s place, and since he isn’t making any plans of settling down yet due to the fact that he is striving to make a living (My people are aware of this).

Yet, he keeps reassuring me that soon he would marry me. On the other hand, other men have been making advances at me and quite a few have even proposed to me.

My Question is what are my chances of settling with Kunle? Should I still cling for the sake of the child or give in to my other suitors? There is this other man who is ready and willing to accept me and my son.

ANSWER:

You had a child for him out of wedlock therefore he is not your husband.I think u should leave his house…unless you really love him and think that he would eventually marry you.Better still, threaten him to leave so that he can go to your parents and finish it off no matter what.

Also you shouldnt have moved into his house.You just complicated matters the more.

If you think this new man can make for a good husband you can go for him…but you must tell him everything. Seek counsel from your pastor. Do this only after you have left the father of your child’s house.

I wish u the best

Romance versus Finance Fiasco

In 2008 when I published my first magazine,I was privileged to interview the CEO of GUFAX Micro-finance Bank, probably the biggest micro-finance bank in my state. His name?Mr. Uduak Udoh.He sat across on his executive settee and gave an animated stare that still remains indelible in my memory.

I asked about his wife, his family.
“Oh, marrying my wife was the best thing that ever happened to me”, he mused and an infectious chuckle escaped his mouth

“How so?”, I asked catching on on his enthusiasm.
“Very often, I have women who come to seduce me in this office. On all occasions, I laugh. I often ask them,’You want me now. Would you have wanted me a few years ago when I had nothing but dreams?’ “

His words did in deed catch my attention.

He continued:”You see, George Essien, when I proposed to my wife I had nothing. Yes, I was a graduate but unemployment made me sell rubber shoes for children at the Uyo market. When my father-in-law asked my wife what I was doing for a living, she simply said I was into the shoe business

” ‘Is that the kind of man you want to marry?You think I don’t know.He sells rubber shoes in Uyo market’, her father told her.My wife took the ridicule, believed in me and still got married to me. We have come a long way.”

I processed his thought, literally gulped and asked, ”So what would you say is the secret of your success?”

Uduak Udoh said to me,”Some one who believes in you and your dreams and is still willing to go all the way with you.I wouldn’t be here if my wife didn’t really stand by me. There were many rough roads. She is a major part of the secret of my success”

An interesting summary of the secret of his success, in deed.

Unfortunately, would we say that we still have women who can stick it out like that with men like Uduak Udoh’s wife?

This morning, I listened to a presentation on my Samsung Galaxy tab of Mr. Cosmos Maduka of the Coscharis group. He is the 5th richest man in Nigeria.His company is the sole distributor of BMW in Nigeria.He said, “I married at 19. Thank God for my wife. There were times when our land lord harassed us because we didn’t have rents. My business had failed, and my wife would go and work and bring N75 so that we can pay rents.Today I am worth Billions.I too have a story”

Such support!
Are there still women like that?

The 21st century woman doesn’t think like that. In Africa, especially in Nigeria, a man has to have everything – a car, a house, a good paying job, and at least N2 million or 6,000 pounds or 15,000 dollars to do a lavish wedding.

That seems to be every African man’s goal.
In essence, no finance, no romance.

Most of these men eventually marry late at an average age of 35 years; some at 40. At this point, now wealthy, these men go for younger ladies, those in their early 20s. Their female contemporaries, those of their generation, are ignored. Why? They have become too old or look old.

So the 21st century ladies who are bent on a man having it all soon get to a desperate point. Most of them end up marrying the available.

In 2011, I put up a post on facebook that generated over 200 comments, some abusive. Perhaps , you would want to read. Here goes: ‘I don’t pity those unmarried ladies who are past 30 and who are desperately going from one singles program after the other praying desperately for a husband. Their husbands came around when they were in their twenties but they were so blinded to see him”

Perhaps their standards were too high.
Perhaps they focused on their career, focusing on finance, forgetting romance.
Perhaps they were influenced by their parent.

I had hundreds of women attack me on that line, but some others agreed I was telling the truth.

Here is how most men think: If I have to make all the money in order to marry a woman, then the woman had better be a very young and the most voluptuously beautiful woman in the world. If I made all the money, and paid N5million for her bride price, then she should remain in the house as a house wife.

My take?
Be smart.

If you are a lady and see a man you can believe in and he asks for marriage, close the deal and build your life with him. For men, if you find a woman who is particular about what you have right now, walk away. Search for those who can dream and believe with you. If you don’t find, go about your business, make your millions and women will flock to you.

For one on one counseling with George Essien call 2348187133153

5 REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT GO BACK TO YOUR EX

1. HOW MANY COUPLES REALLY GET BACK TOGETHER?
Sure some couples get back together and make it work, but how many examples are there?Sincerely very few.The worst thing to do is to think of returning back to your Vomit.

2 .PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE EASILY. And that is true.What made you break up before would not suddenly go away.

3.THE PERSON COULDN’T KEEP YOU AROUND. Don’t settle for somebody who couldn’t keep u around in the first place

4. WHAT WAS THE REASON IT BROKE?It didn’t work out in the first place for a reason.

5. WHY NOT MOVE ON?Living in the past prevents u from moving on.You don’t make progress looking backwards